A,B,C ... it's easy as 1,2,3

It's not every day that I have the privilege to write articles for work. This is one of the magazines I enjoy reading and writing for.

Here's my article ... enjoy!

from a bitter heart

So ... I took a break ... from writing.

Words didn't come out naturally. I was staring at a blank screen waiting for an "aha moment" to be born. 

Nope, still nothing.

At first I thought I stumbled upon another writing block. One of those I-will-keep-staring-at-my-computer-screen-until-an-idea-pops-up writing blocks. But then days turned into weeks which turned into a few months ...

There was a real reason why I neglected my blog: I was bitter. 

A couple of months after my trip from Mozambique, I was not in a good place spiritually. I held a lot of anger and resentment, a familiar feeling I get after returning from an emotionally challenging yet uplifting mission trip. As much as I was passionate about sharing my trip about Moz on here and in conversations, there was a part of me that wasn't happy, holding grudges toward certain people that didn't deserve it.

And because of my bitterness, I only wrote things that came out of my bitterness. Something I heard that rubbed me the wrong way, I wrote about it. A memory of something negative from my trip...wrote it. A thought that consumed me...yep, it was blogged. What I had hoped for my blog originally had now turned into a forum where I vented when I was upset. Of course, I tried to mask my bitter and angry words by turning it into a positive post; however, when I would reread it over and over again, I can hear the hurt behind the words.

So I stopped writing on here. And it was good.

Being away from blogging, I realized two things:

One, I really missed writing. As an editor majority of my time is spent editing articles or emailing artists. The only times I get to really write is in my editor's letter. And as I wrote in my letters, I wrote about things I was passionate about ... something I was missing when I blogged.

And two, I reevaluated what I wanted my blog to portray. By all means, I want to be as honest as I can; however, writing from my bitter heart only allowed me to fester into this whirlwind of frustration and anger. Instead of just vomiting words onto a page, I want to be intentional with the words I choose to express.

So I'm excited to get back to writing ... and I'm excited for this year as well. New season filled with adventures, growth, and never knowing what to expect ... all sounds good to me!

here i go...

It's been over a year in the making.

I created this blog in hopes of writing my thoughts, feelings, insights, or just my simple ramblings of life. After being out of school for almost a year at that time, I had missed writing…which is saying something since I did take that lovely senior class. Oh Crit. Nonetheless, I missed writing. It was also weird how much I would miss it seeing that after 2 ½ years of newspaper and some yearbook on the side, I left it because I was over wanting to be a journalist. I wanted to be involved in missions…

Back to the subject. So I had created this little world over a year ago. Profile picture? Check. Personal information? Check. Background theme? Check. Writing? Blank space. I couldn't gather myself to write at least one blog entry. Why? Didn't know how to simply start it.

That’s the story of my life. There's so many things that I want to do, want to try, want to create; however, I have a horrible time knowing where to begin. I have all the materials I need to start a project, but it simply sits in the corner collecting dust. It's an awful habit I know.

I realized the root of all this unnecessary madness: Fear. It's because of this fear, I'm scared to step out of my comfort zone. To make a fool of myself. To try out new things. It's easy to fall in routine…repetition of the same things over and over and over again. No surprises, and you always know what's going to happen next. I can deal with that; at least I have control of all the variables before me. But the mere thought of stepping out of my routine, of what I'm comfortable with, gets me anxious. Am I even ready? I allow this fear to take control of my thoughts, and I end up withdrawing from my tasks.

But what's the point of this nonsense? If we don't challenge ourselves, our lives are meaningless. It's nice to have a routine; it's not completely wrong. But there's a line between being a robot and being a human being. God didn't create us to be this way. We were meant for something more than the routines we've constructed for ourselves. We have a purpose, we have gifts. Live a little…it can change the way you view things. And who you are as an individual.

So here I am. Taking my big step.

Welcome to my blog.